It Sucks That Someone You Loved Died

After the recent death of a coworker, I was tasked with buying cards for the family. It caused so much anxiety. Each “sympathy” card I picked up was depressing or schmaltzy. They all said crap about how your loved one is in a better place, or please accept our condolences, or our deepest sympathies. Ugh. I tried to think of how I would feel getting cards like that- it would just make me more sad. I finally settled on some not-too-bad cards, but I think it’s time I started my own line of It Sucks That Someone You Loved Died cards.

Here are a few to start out with:

Front of card: Death Sucks
Inside of card: I’d love to throat-punch him for you.

Front of card: I know this is a very sad time for you.
Inside of card: Here’s a kitten.

Front of card: My Condoleezza’s for your grape loss.
Inside of card: Don’t ever write a sympathy card after a root canal.

Front of card: (Completely blank)
Inside of card: There are no words.