I am feeling particularly vulnerable lately. Vulnerable- it’s an interesting word, and a complicated emotion. Vulnerability can cause anxiety, sadness, anger, and fear. Working with an office full of psychologist and other mental health practitioners, my first tendency is to find the reason for these feelings- is it the time of year, has something happened in my life recently to merit these feelings, what are some other times I have felt this way, and what made it better?
Sometimes I think it’s all rubbish. There are days when I want to wallow in my own self-pity for a couple of hours. You know- woe is me and all of that. It helps to eat a bunch of unhealthy foods and hole up in your room with a cup of tea and a warm dog. Sometimes taking a shower and crying it out works too. No matter how hard you try, sometimes you have no words or see no reason for these feelings. Sometimes you are sad for no reason.
For me, working through these times usually involves writing. I give a character some of these same emotions and find a way for them to work through them- or not. It’s cathartic and sometimes results in some really interesting stories and characters. And then sometimes they are crap. Either way, when I’m done I usually feel a whole lot better.
With that said, I think I am going to go and write about a girl whose inner turmoil is getting in the way of her self-expression.